I...I think I'm Gay

There was a point in my life when I questioned my sexual orientation. If you think about it your sexual orientation isn't something that you should question. You should be able to go out be straight, or gay, or bi without worry. You shouldn't have to think about what your sexual preference is. However, thanks to factors such as media, religion, and society we do. Man and Woman, Boy and Girl. They seem to go hand in hand. Or at least that's what we're told. (Almost) Everywhere you turn, you'll see examples of heterosexuality. Take your parents for example. Typically, you'll have a (female) mother and a (male) father. I mean if you didn't odds are you wouldn't be here right now.

Take a commercial or a TV. show. There's usually a male lead or a female lead who's crushing on another character in the show. More often than not the person the person's attracted to is of the opposite gender. Take the following ad for example:

Now I'm not a fan of the Twilight movies but I enjoyed the books (to an extent). The reason I'm using the Breaking Dawn part 2 ad is because it's something most people can relate to as most people have heard about it or seen it. Now take a look at the image, what do you see? Well on the left I see two couples, on the right I see another couple, in the middle I see a couple and a 'lone wolf'. So there are 4 couples portrayed in the ad, 4 heterosexual couples, and a rebel (in case you're unfamiliar with the series, no the guy of the left of the girl in the center is not gay, he just has the bad luck to like a girl (center) who's taken (by the guy on the right of her)). So even now in 2012, with all these gay movements for equality taking place, it's uncommon to find a popular movie in which there is a gay couple in it. 

Back when I was a freshman in high school, maybe it might have been when I was a sophomore, I thought I was gay or bi for a while. Growing up I didn't question my sexuality, there was no need and so I never thought twice about it. Growing up, I would constantly see men with women. Before 8th grade I didn't even know that there were people who like others of the same sex or both sexes. Everywhere I looked I'd see a couple (man and woman) whether it be in my own family (my parents), a movie (The Notebook, Elf, Twilight, etc), or out on the street (random couples). Even in books the main character would be attracted to someone of the opposite gender.

                Along with my loss of innocence and my entry into the 'real' world I lost track of who I was. I wasn't sure who I was anymore. I kept questioning myself. Who am I? What am I? Was I straight? Or was that just something that society, religion and the media had me believing? Growing up I was given this image of what a man and a woman is. A man is often described as being masculine, sexual, strong, powerful, practical, fatherly, intelligent, etc. Lumberjacks and fire fighters are 2 examples that emerge when you put those traits together. Women on the other hand are characterized as being feminine, motherly, soft, nurturing, sensual, affectionate, gentle, loving, etc. Take all those characteristics and put them together and most people will come up with an image of their mom or a motherly figure. 

                In middle school, I remember kids would go around saying stuff like "Dude, that's gay" or "Stop being so queer". Initially I didn't know what those words meant, so I did what most kids would do. Google it. Turns out a gay person, or a queer is someone who is attracted to a member of the same sex. So I looked into things that characterized gay people, one site told me that gay men were extremely feminine, and not as masculine as a 'normal' man. So I took a look at myself. I liked to read, cook, do my friend's (girls) hair, get my nails done, clean my room, etc. I'm an extremely affectionate person and I often 'mother' my friends. I.e. If I'm out partying and I see that someone's in no position to be driving or be left alone, I'll make sure they get home safely. These things that are a part of me made me, things that I embraced (and still embrace now) caused me to doubt my sexual orientation. Why do I like to read? I love reading, I can't explain why, I just do. Why do I like to cook? I like to eat, and I like to feed others. There's just something about taking regular ordinary items and making a scrumptious meal that appeals to me. I also enjoyed getting my nails done (manicures and pedicures) and that was something that was (and is still for the most part) seen as something that only women do. I also like to clean and wash dishes. I don't know why but I find those tasks, which are often associated with mothers, to be calming. I liked to draw and make music. 
                Before 8th grade I didn't really look at girls and go...hmm she's hot, I wanna tap that. Before that I was still at that phase in which girls were still well girls.  But in 8th grade I became attracted to a few girls, had my first crush and 'girl-friend', etc. At the same time due to all the stigma surrounding homosexuality in the media and school I began to question my sexuality. I'm a straightforward person for the straight part and would often compliment people. For example if I saw one of my (male) friends was dressed up nicely I'd be like, "Damn dude, looking good", or if a female friend dressed up, I'd be like, "Damn girl, you look fine". Now my comments about girls were over looked. People would focus on what I said to guys. I mean a guy giving a girl a compliment is considered normal (by the media, society, etc) however a guy compliment a guy isn't. So they'd focus on things that stood apart. Needless to say, I stood apart. As a result, many people assumed I was gay and it got to the point that I was questioning it myself. We have all these stereotypes in our heads. When something doesn't fit the image we question it. I questioned myself.             

                 There were often rude, crass jokes made at my expense. I play the flute and some of the especially means kids would say stuff like, "So I hear you like blowing". 8th grade was not my year, and 8th graders are vicious. I did a lot of "soul searching, trying to figure out who I was. If I was gay or straight. If I were gay how would that affect me, etc. I knew the only way to figure out once and for all was to experiment. So I did. Well it wasn't so much that I went out of my way to experiment but rather that some events took place that led me to the conclusion that I was not gay. I was at a party and a gay guy was hitting on me. It made me uncomfortable and I wasn't feeling it (if that makes sense). However, that same night I was dancing with a girl and I was flirting with her and I realized that I was attracted to her. When the guy was flirting with me I felt awkward, uncomfortable, and wasn't attracted to him. It didn't feel right to me. When I'm with women, it feels right. I knew that I wasn't gay then however due to all the things in the media (and society) about homosexuals I thought that I was. You don't have to have manly characteristics or fit the typical male stereotype to be a heterosexual male. Just so you don't have to fit the feminine stereotype to be a woman. There are many women nowadays that like men but don't want to settle down and pop babies. They don't fit the media's image of what a woman is or should be but that doesn't mean that they're not straight.

                I'm not proud of this but when I realized that I was straight I felt relieved. I'm different from everyone else. For most of my life, I never really fit in everywhere, and I'm sure you know that people that are different, that don't fit in are often times picked on and ostracized. I was picked on and ostracized. If I were gay, that'd just be another thing for people to use against me. Also, after hearing about the death of a few kids who were bullied till they committed suicide I felt relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with that. The things I went through influenced my decisions and perspectives in relationship to homosexuality/heterosexuality. The thing is the media is not fond of homosexuals. After all this time of not (really) having any pro gay media outlets any piece of media that's released that refers to homosexuals is often met with a negative response. The media has influenced us to see that being gay is not something that's normal. We see men with women all the time, whether it be in on the streets, a book, or a movie. We don't see man with another man (as a couple) or woman with another woman (as a couple) too often. They are 'rare' occurrences. If they're rare occurrences, then they aren't the majority, and that means that homosexuality is not normal. But the thing is they're just like us, only unlike the majority of people, they are attracted to members of the same gender. Due to many traits, stereotypes that are associated with homosexuality I thought I was gay for a while, only to realize that not everyone fits the mold made by the media and society. That although I wasn't the epitome of a 'man' I wasn't a 'woman' either I'm just me. Someone who has characteristics from 'both side of the spectrum'. If every fit the mold established by the media, we'd have a (near perfect) world, without war, and famine. A world in which everyone's the same; like Barbie dolls. However, like Barbie dolls (the proportions would not be able to support a woman, same goes for Ken dolls), it's just not feasible. 

Erin Gallagher Josh Pacheco

Impact of 'Gay' Media on Those From Other Cultures

The same thing affects different people differently. If we took 5 'regular' American (people born and raised here in America, who would be classified by society as normal (generic) Americans) and presented them with a certain ad, take the Victoria's Secret's Bra ad that I used earlier.

They would all have different takes on it (just like how my friends and I have different takes on it). Despite how 'normal', how regular a person may seem, they're still different, they're still individuals. Just so people from different cultures also have different takes on things from the media. Being as someone from a different culture would not be accustomed to the same things that someone from that culture would already be accustomed it makes sense that they'd have a different reaction to the piece of media.

I don't know about you but I love examples, so here's one. We (my family and I) have Dish Network and a DVR system. As a result, we record a lot of (truth be told we record most of) the shows that we watch. Now my parents record the shows they watch, my brothers record the shows they watch, and I record the shows that I watch. Now my mom would often go through shows that my brothers and I record, usually when she's bored, and check out what we watch. Often times she enjoys shows that I watch and would watch them herself. My parents are multilingual and speak many languages including English. However, English isn't their primary language, it's isn't their second or third language either. As a result they often have to focus and think about what they're hearing and lets be honest, if you have to translate your favorite soap (opera), it probably won't be your favorite for long. So most of the shows they watch are Bengali or Indian shows.

My parents were born and raised in Bangladesh unlike my brothers I. My baby brother (7) was born here but my other brother (15) and I (18) we not born in America but we grew up here. As a result, my brothers and I have views on things that go against what my parents think and believe. Bangladesh is predominantly Muslim, and my parents were raised in strict Islamic households. My brothers and I? Not so much. We grew up in a 'liberal' Islamic household that put more emphasis on the lessons that one is expected to take from Islam than the actual teachings themselves.

So back to the television shows. So my mom would often watch shows that I watch (she has a somewhat better grasp at the English language, I mean after being here for about 17 years she's picked up on a few things). Now during one of the shows, there was a commercial that was directed at people who know a gay person. The commercial talked about how it's okay to be gay, some of the generic 'symptoms' were, and that you should be supportive of that person. Just like how many people grew up during the movement for women's rights, I'd argue that we're growing up in the movement for gay equality. Compared to earlier generations, my generation seems to be more at ease with homosexuality. Often times we'll talk about how it's unfair for homosexuals to be unable to do the same things as heterosexuals. That they're shunned. That they're ostracized. For what? Because the (gay) guys like dick and the (lesbians) girls like pussy? So? If it's not something we're interested in or doing why do we care? Take prayers from various religions as an example. If I stopped somewhere (on the streets, in a class, etc) to pray people would talk but no one would really say anything to me about it? Why because what I’m doing isn't bothering them. What I'm doing is my belief. No one will try to keep me from pray. So why do we try to stop homosexuals from being homosexual? Why do we try to oppose their beliefs?

When my mom saw the commercial she was shocked, for many reasons. First of all, she wasn't used to seeing commercials, seeing ads like that. In Bangladesh, homosexuality is taboo. I'd argue that it's (shunned) even more so there than here (in America). Here we will talk about it and take actions either for or against it but in Bangladesh and other Islamic influenced countries homosexuality is something that for the most part isn't even hinted at. But when it is, it's opposed. Islamic countries I would say are suppressed more so than other countries because there is no clear division of religion and state. Homosexuality is considered a disease, a wrongness, and as a result it's considered to be a vile, shameful thing.

My brother (15) and my cousin (16) were born 2 months apart from each other. Initially, when my cousin moved to Buffalo, he didn't know anyone here and seeing as how he lives like 5 blocks away, he'd always be over at my house. He and my brother would be just about everything together (my cousin moved here when he was like 13). They'd go to the movies, play games, eat, listen to music, etc. Thing is they were just best friends. They are not attracted to each other, and neither of them are gay. However, after seeing that commercial, my mom put 2 and 2 together and came to the conclusion (well it's more of an assumption) that my brother and cousin were gay. I came home one day from school and heard her lecturing my brother and cousin (who were both sitting on opposite side of the room on different couches). Suffice to say that was one of the most awkward talks/situation I've been in. My mom's all about openly talking about matters once they get bad enough (usually she decides when that is) so that they don't get any worse. During the lecture/rant she told them that if they were gay they can go be gay elsewhere, that she told my cousin's mom and she doesn't want a gay in her house either. That both my mom and aunt would kick them out of the house, and disown them if they were. Pretty extreme things for a 13/14 year old to hear. Scratch that, that's pretty extreme for anyone. My mom was breaking down. I felt the need to butt in and did so. I explained to her (with the help of my brother and cousin) that weren't gay although it took a while. For a while after the conversation, she kept checking up on my brother and cousin until she came to the conclusion that she came to the wrong conclusion that day. 

The catalyst for all that was the commercial that she saw. Now I didn't realize what had sparked all that pent up frustration from her until later that day when I was watching my shows. When I saw the commercial, I was like, I'm glad there's an ad telling friends and family of homosexuals that it's okay for people to be gay and they aren't any different from the person they were. Then I had a little epiphany and asked my mom if it was that commercial that sparked her outburst. She replied that it was, and we talked about it. Thing is, (according to my mom) homosexuality is something that is considered only taboo but also something to be feared and ashamed of. I told her that although it's something that considered taboo in many (most) places in the world (including America and Bangladesh) it really isn't that big of a deal. I don't think it's something to be feared or ashamed of. If someone's gay who are we to tell that person that they're wrong? What if they told us that we're wrong? I mean if you think about it homosexuality would not exist without heterosexuality. Normal would not exist without abnormal. It's like yin-yang; one cannot exist without the other. (Needless to say, at that point my mom thought I was gay for a little while).

From her outburst I was able to realize that homosexuality is something that's taboo (like) in most places in the world. That the lack of homosexuality in the media is something that is (partially) responsible for the opinions of people in relationship to homosexuals. If there were more gay related media in the world then maybe, just maybe homosexuality would not be met with the animosity it is met with now. We fear the unknown and we don't know much about homosexuality. The lack of homosexual-related items in the media is a representative of the extent to which homosexuality is understood and accepted. There isn't much in the media about it and so it is not something that's acknowledged or accepted. It's human nature to fear what we don't know or understand. If we don't acknowledge homosexuality, we'll never learn or understand it. The first step to conquering a fear is to acknowledge it and then make an effort to understand it. Our refusal, our hesitance to act will do nothing but hurt us in the end. 

The media has varying affects on its audience. Different people have different perspectives, just like how my mom and I took the pro gay commercial different ways. I saw the commercial in a positive manner. My mom said that she felt as thought the commercial sounded condescending and that it was making a jab at people who knew a gay (a potential) gay person. Which if you think about it is weird because the ad seems to be contradicting itself. Capitalism allows ads to contradict itself. That not only confuses people but also makes it difficult for members of the audience to be critical viewers of the media. Ads in relationship to homosexuality are met with varying degrees of responses (some positive others not so much), and the things that we experienced growing up influence our responses. It's important to note that we're constantly growing (older if nothing else) and as a result we are constantly being influenced (by the media, by society, etc). 

Blindsiding our Freedom

I'm going out on a limb here and if you disagree with me that's fine: we're different people and, as a result, we're bound to have differences. Our society, generally speaking, is not pro-gay. I mean, if you go around asking people if they're okay with homosexuals, for the most part, they're going respond by saying that they have no problem with homosexuals. But, are they telling the truth or just telling you what they think you want to hear? We've gone through a lot of equality movements: end of slavery in America, women's equality, etc. Now we're approaching the movement for equality for gays. 

If someone asked me what I thought about gays, I'd probably respond with another question: something along the lines of, "why?" or "who's asking?" After that, I'd reply that I have no issue with gays. By that, I mean that I don't care about them, no more than I care about non-gays. Why should I worry about the sexual orientation/preference of another? I'm me and they're them. Furthermore, I'm in no position to judge them. How can I judge them? On what basis? We live in a country that promotes equality and freedom for ALL. Not freedom for Whites, Blacks, Asians, or Middle Easterners. Not freedom for Christians, Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists. Freedom for all. It's something that we seem to lose sight of. Actually, I'd argue that it's not so much that we lose sight of it, but rather that the media draws our attention away from it. 

In most media outlets, gays are suppressed. Think back to the things you've seen in life. How many gay ads have you seen? How many books about gays have made the bestseller list? For me, and for many people, the answer is close to none. I looked to see how many books that talk about the issues such as 'what homosexuals deal with on a regular basis just because they're gay' were popular or had made bestseller lists. I was surprised to find barely any. Truth be told, the only popular gay/lesbian books that I found were those of an erotic natures. 

In our society, similar to that seen in 1984 (just not to such an extent), our sexual urges are suppressed. Michael Warner talks about that concept (among others) in "The Trouble with Normal:  Sex, Politics, and The Ethics of Queer Life". In the text, Warner, talks about how in society our sexual urges are suppressed. 

Why is sex something that's shunned by society? Why is talking about our sexual urges something that's not approved by society? Well, to be honest, talking about sex isn't shunned per say, it's more of a taboo.  Why don't we like talking about sex? Why are people shamed about their sexual desires? Our sexual urges are biological in nature, something both homosexuals and heterosexuals share. The desire to connect on a deeper level with another and have sex. Honestly it's stupid to avoid talking about sex and treating it like it's taboo. If we can talk about doing things like eating and breathing, then we sure as hell can talk about sex. I mean, honestly, it's not that big of a deal. I love sex as much as the next person and I don't see why it's something that's not spoken of. In Warner's text, he talks about how the taboo, the shame in regards to sex, arose from decades and decades of sexual repression. Throughout history, men have usually been allowed to satisfy their sexual hunger and, for the most part, were not ostracized for their actions. However, women weren't allowed to go out and satiate these urges, which is an example of the double standards that exists in society. It wasn't until recently that women were allowed to really explore their sexuality. Men were allowed to do whatever the fuck they wanted and women we're expected to be meek objects, robots if you will, that did as society dictated. Although, men went out to quench their sexual thirst they didn't talk about it in front of women in an effort to preserve their innocence, an image that is associated with women as a result of media and society. As a result, sex wasn't something that was discussed often. Nowadays, people aren't as hesitant to talk about it, but it varies from person to person. I mean, most people still don't talk to their children about their sexuality and all that. Most of us have gone through 'the talk'. It was given so much hype but it really wasn't a big deal.

That's just how it is with homosexuality. What's the main difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals? C'mon, you guys know this. Heterosexuals are attracted to members or the opposite sex (hetero-different) and homosexuals are attracted to members of the same sex (homo-same). So what's that attraction mean? What it means is that gay men like having sex with each other and lesbians like having sex with each other. Great. Whoop-de-diddly-do. What's the big deal? Personally, girl on girl seems kind of hot to me, but that's probably because I'm a heterosexual male. 

There are often ads in which there are multiple women with one man, which tells the audience that it's okay for a man to have sex with more than one woman. That the person, the guy in the ad, is so attractive, that he has 2 or more women. These pieces of media, these ads, are not objected. Images such as these are shown from time to time and so they are not object. It's almost normal nowadays to see ads like these. The image under this on the right hand side could have been released under the pretense of an ad for cologne and the one on the left could be that for a dating site. In society, sexual desires are suppressed. However, with time, the extent to which it's suppressed has decreased. Now, that doesn't mean that sexual suppression is gone because it isn't. The blunt of the sexual oppression now however seems to be placed on homosexuals.

                               

There are often images like this on television and on various ads. However, those images are not ostracized. Why aren't they?

 Now take the following image as a counter example to the ones above: 

If we had the 4 images above and had them shown to a random group of people, such as the general public, what do you think their responses would be? The might say that the 1st one is a little too explicit (not much would really be said against it since most guys wouldn't mind seeing that). The 2nd and 3rd one would likewise not be objected. The final one however, would most definitely meet a critical audience that would be bothered by it. The 4th image features 4 guys; from the looks of it, it looks like 4, sexy, hot-blooded, gay guys. Now, that image would be oppressed for a variety of reasons. The main reason would be because it depicts 4 gay men. 

Although sexual urges and desires are oppressed for heterosexuals, homosexual urges and tendencies seem to be oppressed more than with heterosexuals.  This shows that there is double standards in the media and society in relationship to homosexuals just as there are for women. Our so-called "freedom" of speech, press, and liberty, are not really free since it only seems to be for those approved by society. The media is influenced by society and in our society, homosexual urges, desires, and tendencies are frowned upon. As a result, there are double standards in the media in relationship to homosexuals and the media is often twisted to reflect the view of society. 

No One Clear Message

The thing about media is that, although there is almost always an underlying message involved, it's open to interpretation. Many people will view, read, and hear things differently. Everyone's different and so we all perceive different things differently.  Due to that difference, we react to different things differently. In media outlets, such as ads, there are often subliminal messages incorporated into the ad. Take the following Victoria Secrets Ad for example. (Yes, I seem to spend a lot of time look up Victoria Secrets related ads. I'm a guy, sue me). 

The first thing people see, well the first thing I saw, was the red bra. After that, I noticed the largest text, the logo "Victoria's Secret", then the smaller texts: "Dress your boyfriend's floor" and "http://www.victoriassecret.com/ ".  The last thing I saw, well the last thing that I focused on, was the hand of the woman that's holding up the bra. So clearly it's an ad for lingerie by Victoria's Secrets. That's the first thing that most people, including I, pick up on. Then let's take the statement, "dress your boyfriend's floor". If you look at the hand holding the bra, you'll notice that it looks like the woman's about to drop the bra, so that was a neat move in my opinion giving a visual to the literal comment. That statement has many subliminal meanings/messages incorporated into it. Take a moment to think about what meanings could be hidden in that statement before going on to read how I interpreted the message. 

So, one thing that the ad is implying is that the main reason for bras is to 'dress your boyfriend's floor' in it. The lingerie is not for the woman, but rather for the man which goes to show the sexism that's prevalent in our society. The woman should strive to please her man. The main purpose of a bra is support for the woman. I mean, women also wear bras for aesthetic reasons. Usually, people don't go out of their way to wear comfortable clothes or clothes that make them look bad. We'll take that extra 10 minutes or pay that extra $10 so that we look good. Just so many woman who don't have breasts that give them reason to worry about back problems wear bras so that they look good. Due to the bra, their boobs won't sag, their nips aren't showing through their top, and their breasts are supported so that they look good/attractive. But, the main reason that woman wear them is for support. I asked a few of my friends (female of course, it'd be a little weird if my male friends wore bras) about their feelings on the matter and got some answers that were similar to the conclusions I made. However, I got a few response that were different. One of my friends told me that she like bras and other lingerie items because they make her feel sexy. She likes knowing that under her regular, everyday clothes, she's dressed extremely sexy and provocatively. Another friend of mine responded in a way that went right along with the Victoria's Secrets ad that's above. She said that she wears bras and other lingerie items from Victoria's Secret because her boyfriend likes them. She was telling me that, generally, she's more of a cotton girl, but her boyfriend likes to see her in lace and so she buys and wears lingerie. 

Also, the bra that's used in the ad is red. The color red is often associated with energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination, passion, desire, sex, and love. According to Color Wheel Pro, various shades of red reflect and are associated with different things. Light red represents joy, sexuality, passion, sensitivity, and love. Pink signifies romance, love, and friendship. It also denotes feminine qualities and passiveness. Dark red on the other hand is associated with vigor, willpower, rage, leadership, courage, longing, malice, hate, dark intent both sexual and non sexual, and many others. What I found to be extremely interesting was the use of various shades of red in the ad. According to Color Wheel Pro, red's also a color that prompts a quick response. Often times its used as an accent color to stimulate people to make a quick decision. In ads, red is often used to evoke erotic feelings (red lips, red nails, red bras, red-light districts, 'Lady in Red', etc). 

Another message that incorporated into the ad is that about what society sees to be an 'appropriate' relationship. It's something that might not hit you right off the bat, but it's there. Note the use of the word 'boyfriend' and the feminine hand by Victoria's Secrets, which is a company that sells items for woman. So, the ad is telling its audience that a couple should be comprised of a man and a woman, a woman and her 'boyfriend'. Along with lingerie for women, the ad's promoting couples to be heterosexual. 

What may have initially been seen as a generic ad for lingerie for woman turns out to be an image, a media outlet that has many meanings embedded in it. I stumbled across the image while I was looking for the 1999 Victoria's Secret Super Bowl commercial which is embedded in my last post. At first, I dismissed it. However, just when I was about to scroll past it, I stopped and look again and saw that it was a perfect example as to how there are many messages in a piece. 

I was amused to see a company for women use the phrase "dress your boyfriend's floor". Why? Well, mainly because women are fickle creatures that don't know what they want (that was a joke). I found it amusing because we're in the 21st century, a century in which women are "equal" to women. I still remember my time in 8th grade American history class at Olmsted. My class and I learned about how women struggled to show men, the world, and society that they can do just as men did just as well as they could, if not better. That they might be the weaker sex, generally speaking, but that doesn't mean that they were less than the men. The fought for equality. We live in a time period in which there are single mothers throughout the US who are doing a damn good job of raising their children alone, a period in which there are many ambitious women who are pursing high profile careers. Despite all that, a company that sells lingerie for WOMEN is making a sexist comment like the one above. How does something like that even happen? Capitalism. Capitalism makes it possible for there to be a plethora of contradictory messages in that one ad says one thing and another ad says another (this is true not just for ads but for most media outlets). The use of these contradictory messages is a part of what's confusing and problematic about modern life and what makes it difficult to be critical viewers of the media. It's as though the media does not want full comprehension of how it works and so it intentionally contradicts itself. Well played media, well played.

What Influences Us?

            So, I realize that I haven't posted anything in a little over a week and I'd like to apologize for my inactivity. I had a lot going on this week and so I wasn't able to post as diligently as I'd have liked. Now that that's done with, onward to the actual blog post.

I was born in Bangladesh on September 19, 1994. In 1997, a few months after my baby brother was born, my family and I moved to America. I was influenced by a plethora of cultures growing up. Due to the history, culture, and location of Bangladesh as well as my ancestry, I was influenced by Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, a few Middle Eastern countries such as Iran. I was also influence by the culture in America that I was immersed in growing up.

I essentially grew up in 2 worlds; one world would be my life outside of home in 'America' and the other world would be that inside the house or when I was out with others that originated from the same region as me (Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Iran, etc). As a result of growing up in two worlds, the way I think and act was influenced by both worlds.

Despite how much I was influenced by both worlds, I was relatively naive in that I thought that the media was something that didn't affect me. Please don't make the assumption that I fancy myself a hipster, because I don't. Although, there's nothing wrong with them. A few of my friends would probably smack me upside the head for that comment, it's just that I thought that if I didn't focus on it, the media wouldn't affect me. Of course, at the time, I was happily oblivious to the fact that the media is everywhere, sort of like with Big Brother in 1984, and that the media influences us regardless of whether or not we want to be influenced. For example, let's take an example presented by Jean Kilbourne in Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel. In the 1999 Superbowl, there was a short clip presented by Victoria's Secret, advertising goods online. After which, hundreds of thousands of people went online to the Victoria's Secret's website during the Superbowl, the goddamn SUPERBOWL. People may say that they aren't affected by the media, but that's incorrect. They may think that they aren't affected, but they are. If people weren't affected by the media, why would different companies and organizations pay obscure amounts of money to have their ads aired during the Superbowl? They wouldn't. They know that a large audience watches the Superbowl and, as a result, they expect an increase in sales or at least an increase interest in regards to a particular product. Now, I was a little kid when the 1999 Superbowl was on and don't remember watching it. However, after reading the comment about the Victoria's Secret Commercial that took place during the Superbowl, I was shocked to hear that people actually left the game to go check out whatever it was that the ad was advertising and wanted to see what it was all about. The article I read, is a media outlet. It influenced me without me realizing that I was being influenced by it. It wasn't until after I saw that ad did I realize that the article sparked my desire to see what the ad was all about and in the end I "fell victim" to the clutches of the media.

Victoria Secrets 1999 Superbowl Commercial 

So, the thing to take from all that is that we are influence by just about everything around us from the day we are born. We are constantly being influenced by something regardless of whether it be the media or the weather or something totally different. It is incorrect and ultimately stupid/ignorant to assume that you aren't affected by the media or outer outlets. Whether you are being influenced consciously or unconsciously, you are being influenced by everything around you. Not only are we influenced by everything around us, the government/society takes advantage of our susceptibility and monitors/influences much of what we see through the media. What we see gives us a perspective of what we see to be acceptable, what we deem, well what society deems to be normal and we follow that. We reach for the illusion of normalcy that's projected onto us knowing that, for the most part, we will never attain it. It's like the 'American dream' that's exhibited in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald saw that the "American dream" was originally about discovery, individualism, and the pursuit of happiness. In The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald writes about how easy money and relaxed social values have corrupted this dream. Just as Americans have given America meaning through their dreams for their own lives, Gatsby instills Daisy with a kind of idealized perfection that she neither deserves nor possesses. If you think about it, Gatsby is society, and we, the people are Daisy. We are given this idealized perfected image that we are told to try to achieve, but it's something that most people search for but never find. It's like a treasure map; more often times then not, they turn our to be pointless searches. In the novel, Gatsby’s dream is ruined by its objects, just as the "American dream" is ruined by the unworthiness of its objects (money and pleasure). Just so, we are given this image of what is normal and told to pursue that image of normalcy. Simple enough concept/order, the discourse arises with the definition of normalcy. What is normal? What I consider to be normal is influenced by everything that influenced me and what you may think to be normal is influenced by everything that you were influenced by. Ultimately we could have similar definitions or entirely different definitions based on our experiences.

About the Blog

The phrase “Big Brother is Watching” originated from George Orwell’s novel 1984. For those who are unfamiliar with the book: the book takes place in Oceania, which is a totalitarian society that’s tyrannized by The Party. The Party inflicts it’s subjects with psychological stimuli designed to overwhelm the mind’s capacity for independent thought. As a result (for the most part) the subjects of Oceania would do what the Party wanted and nothing else.

There was a television in every citizen’s room that blasted a constant stream of propaganda designed to make the failures and shortcomings of the Party appear to be triumphant successes. Not only did the television promote the Party, the television also monitored the behaviors of the citizens, so everything they did was monitored, thus influencing just about everything they do. The Party also forced individuals to suppress their sexual desires, treating sex as merely a procreative duty whose end is the creation of new Party members. In 1984, the citizens acted a certain way due to the way difference was treated. They were all expected to act the way the Party dictated and we’re not allowed to do anything that the Part didn’t. If they did do something that the Party didn’t approve of the Party would eventually find out as, “Big Brother is Watching”. Ultimately those citizens would be punished. Often times, in 1984, those who rebelled were made examples of: they were either reformed into the perfect citizen or never heard from again. Now what happened in 1984 was extreme however the extremes allowed certain themes to thrive.  2 major themes in 1984 were: that difference wasn’t tolerated and the media has a huge influence on those who are subject to it.

The media acts as a proxy, an authority, for public opinion in relationship to homosexuals and homosexuality. We all know that the media influences just about everything but I had to focus my blog and so I decided to focus primarily on the effect of the media in relationship to homosexuals/homosexuality in America.