Impact of 'Gay' Media on Those From Other Cultures

The same thing affects different people differently. If we took 5 'regular' American (people born and raised here in America, who would be classified by society as normal (generic) Americans) and presented them with a certain ad, take the Victoria's Secret's Bra ad that I used earlier.

They would all have different takes on it (just like how my friends and I have different takes on it). Despite how 'normal', how regular a person may seem, they're still different, they're still individuals. Just so people from different cultures also have different takes on things from the media. Being as someone from a different culture would not be accustomed to the same things that someone from that culture would already be accustomed it makes sense that they'd have a different reaction to the piece of media.

I don't know about you but I love examples, so here's one. We (my family and I) have Dish Network and a DVR system. As a result, we record a lot of (truth be told we record most of) the shows that we watch. Now my parents record the shows they watch, my brothers record the shows they watch, and I record the shows that I watch. Now my mom would often go through shows that my brothers and I record, usually when she's bored, and check out what we watch. Often times she enjoys shows that I watch and would watch them herself. My parents are multilingual and speak many languages including English. However, English isn't their primary language, it's isn't their second or third language either. As a result they often have to focus and think about what they're hearing and lets be honest, if you have to translate your favorite soap (opera), it probably won't be your favorite for long. So most of the shows they watch are Bengali or Indian shows.

My parents were born and raised in Bangladesh unlike my brothers I. My baby brother (7) was born here but my other brother (15) and I (18) we not born in America but we grew up here. As a result, my brothers and I have views on things that go against what my parents think and believe. Bangladesh is predominantly Muslim, and my parents were raised in strict Islamic households. My brothers and I? Not so much. We grew up in a 'liberal' Islamic household that put more emphasis on the lessons that one is expected to take from Islam than the actual teachings themselves.

So back to the television shows. So my mom would often watch shows that I watch (she has a somewhat better grasp at the English language, I mean after being here for about 17 years she's picked up on a few things). Now during one of the shows, there was a commercial that was directed at people who know a gay person. The commercial talked about how it's okay to be gay, some of the generic 'symptoms' were, and that you should be supportive of that person. Just like how many people grew up during the movement for women's rights, I'd argue that we're growing up in the movement for gay equality. Compared to earlier generations, my generation seems to be more at ease with homosexuality. Often times we'll talk about how it's unfair for homosexuals to be unable to do the same things as heterosexuals. That they're shunned. That they're ostracized. For what? Because the (gay) guys like dick and the (lesbians) girls like pussy? So? If it's not something we're interested in or doing why do we care? Take prayers from various religions as an example. If I stopped somewhere (on the streets, in a class, etc) to pray people would talk but no one would really say anything to me about it? Why because what I’m doing isn't bothering them. What I'm doing is my belief. No one will try to keep me from pray. So why do we try to stop homosexuals from being homosexual? Why do we try to oppose their beliefs?

When my mom saw the commercial she was shocked, for many reasons. First of all, she wasn't used to seeing commercials, seeing ads like that. In Bangladesh, homosexuality is taboo. I'd argue that it's (shunned) even more so there than here (in America). Here we will talk about it and take actions either for or against it but in Bangladesh and other Islamic influenced countries homosexuality is something that for the most part isn't even hinted at. But when it is, it's opposed. Islamic countries I would say are suppressed more so than other countries because there is no clear division of religion and state. Homosexuality is considered a disease, a wrongness, and as a result it's considered to be a vile, shameful thing.

My brother (15) and my cousin (16) were born 2 months apart from each other. Initially, when my cousin moved to Buffalo, he didn't know anyone here and seeing as how he lives like 5 blocks away, he'd always be over at my house. He and my brother would be just about everything together (my cousin moved here when he was like 13). They'd go to the movies, play games, eat, listen to music, etc. Thing is they were just best friends. They are not attracted to each other, and neither of them are gay. However, after seeing that commercial, my mom put 2 and 2 together and came to the conclusion (well it's more of an assumption) that my brother and cousin were gay. I came home one day from school and heard her lecturing my brother and cousin (who were both sitting on opposite side of the room on different couches). Suffice to say that was one of the most awkward talks/situation I've been in. My mom's all about openly talking about matters once they get bad enough (usually she decides when that is) so that they don't get any worse. During the lecture/rant she told them that if they were gay they can go be gay elsewhere, that she told my cousin's mom and she doesn't want a gay in her house either. That both my mom and aunt would kick them out of the house, and disown them if they were. Pretty extreme things for a 13/14 year old to hear. Scratch that, that's pretty extreme for anyone. My mom was breaking down. I felt the need to butt in and did so. I explained to her (with the help of my brother and cousin) that weren't gay although it took a while. For a while after the conversation, she kept checking up on my brother and cousin until she came to the conclusion that she came to the wrong conclusion that day. 

The catalyst for all that was the commercial that she saw. Now I didn't realize what had sparked all that pent up frustration from her until later that day when I was watching my shows. When I saw the commercial, I was like, I'm glad there's an ad telling friends and family of homosexuals that it's okay for people to be gay and they aren't any different from the person they were. Then I had a little epiphany and asked my mom if it was that commercial that sparked her outburst. She replied that it was, and we talked about it. Thing is, (according to my mom) homosexuality is something that is considered only taboo but also something to be feared and ashamed of. I told her that although it's something that considered taboo in many (most) places in the world (including America and Bangladesh) it really isn't that big of a deal. I don't think it's something to be feared or ashamed of. If someone's gay who are we to tell that person that they're wrong? What if they told us that we're wrong? I mean if you think about it homosexuality would not exist without heterosexuality. Normal would not exist without abnormal. It's like yin-yang; one cannot exist without the other. (Needless to say, at that point my mom thought I was gay for a little while).

From her outburst I was able to realize that homosexuality is something that's taboo (like) in most places in the world. That the lack of homosexuality in the media is something that is (partially) responsible for the opinions of people in relationship to homosexuals. If there were more gay related media in the world then maybe, just maybe homosexuality would not be met with the animosity it is met with now. We fear the unknown and we don't know much about homosexuality. The lack of homosexual-related items in the media is a representative of the extent to which homosexuality is understood and accepted. There isn't much in the media about it and so it is not something that's acknowledged or accepted. It's human nature to fear what we don't know or understand. If we don't acknowledge homosexuality, we'll never learn or understand it. The first step to conquering a fear is to acknowledge it and then make an effort to understand it. Our refusal, our hesitance to act will do nothing but hurt us in the end. 

The media has varying affects on its audience. Different people have different perspectives, just like how my mom and I took the pro gay commercial different ways. I saw the commercial in a positive manner. My mom said that she felt as thought the commercial sounded condescending and that it was making a jab at people who knew a gay (a potential) gay person. Which if you think about it is weird because the ad seems to be contradicting itself. Capitalism allows ads to contradict itself. That not only confuses people but also makes it difficult for members of the audience to be critical viewers of the media. Ads in relationship to homosexuality are met with varying degrees of responses (some positive others not so much), and the things that we experienced growing up influence our responses. It's important to note that we're constantly growing (older if nothing else) and as a result we are constantly being influenced (by the media, by society, etc). 

Blindsiding our Freedom

I'm going out on a limb here and if you disagree with me that's fine: we're different people and, as a result, we're bound to have differences. Our society, generally speaking, is not pro-gay. I mean, if you go around asking people if they're okay with homosexuals, for the most part, they're going respond by saying that they have no problem with homosexuals. But, are they telling the truth or just telling you what they think you want to hear? We've gone through a lot of equality movements: end of slavery in America, women's equality, etc. Now we're approaching the movement for equality for gays. 

If someone asked me what I thought about gays, I'd probably respond with another question: something along the lines of, "why?" or "who's asking?" After that, I'd reply that I have no issue with gays. By that, I mean that I don't care about them, no more than I care about non-gays. Why should I worry about the sexual orientation/preference of another? I'm me and they're them. Furthermore, I'm in no position to judge them. How can I judge them? On what basis? We live in a country that promotes equality and freedom for ALL. Not freedom for Whites, Blacks, Asians, or Middle Easterners. Not freedom for Christians, Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists. Freedom for all. It's something that we seem to lose sight of. Actually, I'd argue that it's not so much that we lose sight of it, but rather that the media draws our attention away from it. 

In most media outlets, gays are suppressed. Think back to the things you've seen in life. How many gay ads have you seen? How many books about gays have made the bestseller list? For me, and for many people, the answer is close to none. I looked to see how many books that talk about the issues such as 'what homosexuals deal with on a regular basis just because they're gay' were popular or had made bestseller lists. I was surprised to find barely any. Truth be told, the only popular gay/lesbian books that I found were those of an erotic natures. 

In our society, similar to that seen in 1984 (just not to such an extent), our sexual urges are suppressed. Michael Warner talks about that concept (among others) in "The Trouble with Normal:  Sex, Politics, and The Ethics of Queer Life". In the text, Warner, talks about how in society our sexual urges are suppressed. 

Why is sex something that's shunned by society? Why is talking about our sexual urges something that's not approved by society? Well, to be honest, talking about sex isn't shunned per say, it's more of a taboo.  Why don't we like talking about sex? Why are people shamed about their sexual desires? Our sexual urges are biological in nature, something both homosexuals and heterosexuals share. The desire to connect on a deeper level with another and have sex. Honestly it's stupid to avoid talking about sex and treating it like it's taboo. If we can talk about doing things like eating and breathing, then we sure as hell can talk about sex. I mean, honestly, it's not that big of a deal. I love sex as much as the next person and I don't see why it's something that's not spoken of. In Warner's text, he talks about how the taboo, the shame in regards to sex, arose from decades and decades of sexual repression. Throughout history, men have usually been allowed to satisfy their sexual hunger and, for the most part, were not ostracized for their actions. However, women weren't allowed to go out and satiate these urges, which is an example of the double standards that exists in society. It wasn't until recently that women were allowed to really explore their sexuality. Men were allowed to do whatever the fuck they wanted and women we're expected to be meek objects, robots if you will, that did as society dictated. Although, men went out to quench their sexual thirst they didn't talk about it in front of women in an effort to preserve their innocence, an image that is associated with women as a result of media and society. As a result, sex wasn't something that was discussed often. Nowadays, people aren't as hesitant to talk about it, but it varies from person to person. I mean, most people still don't talk to their children about their sexuality and all that. Most of us have gone through 'the talk'. It was given so much hype but it really wasn't a big deal.

That's just how it is with homosexuality. What's the main difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals? C'mon, you guys know this. Heterosexuals are attracted to members or the opposite sex (hetero-different) and homosexuals are attracted to members of the same sex (homo-same). So what's that attraction mean? What it means is that gay men like having sex with each other and lesbians like having sex with each other. Great. Whoop-de-diddly-do. What's the big deal? Personally, girl on girl seems kind of hot to me, but that's probably because I'm a heterosexual male. 

There are often ads in which there are multiple women with one man, which tells the audience that it's okay for a man to have sex with more than one woman. That the person, the guy in the ad, is so attractive, that he has 2 or more women. These pieces of media, these ads, are not objected. Images such as these are shown from time to time and so they are not object. It's almost normal nowadays to see ads like these. The image under this on the right hand side could have been released under the pretense of an ad for cologne and the one on the left could be that for a dating site. In society, sexual desires are suppressed. However, with time, the extent to which it's suppressed has decreased. Now, that doesn't mean that sexual suppression is gone because it isn't. The blunt of the sexual oppression now however seems to be placed on homosexuals.

                               

There are often images like this on television and on various ads. However, those images are not ostracized. Why aren't they?

 Now take the following image as a counter example to the ones above: 

If we had the 4 images above and had them shown to a random group of people, such as the general public, what do you think their responses would be? The might say that the 1st one is a little too explicit (not much would really be said against it since most guys wouldn't mind seeing that). The 2nd and 3rd one would likewise not be objected. The final one however, would most definitely meet a critical audience that would be bothered by it. The 4th image features 4 guys; from the looks of it, it looks like 4, sexy, hot-blooded, gay guys. Now, that image would be oppressed for a variety of reasons. The main reason would be because it depicts 4 gay men. 

Although sexual urges and desires are oppressed for heterosexuals, homosexual urges and tendencies seem to be oppressed more than with heterosexuals.  This shows that there is double standards in the media and society in relationship to homosexuals just as there are for women. Our so-called "freedom" of speech, press, and liberty, are not really free since it only seems to be for those approved by society. The media is influenced by society and in our society, homosexual urges, desires, and tendencies are frowned upon. As a result, there are double standards in the media in relationship to homosexuals and the media is often twisted to reflect the view of society.