Impact of 'Gay' Media on Those From Other Cultures

The same thing affects different people differently. If we took 5 'regular' American (people born and raised here in America, who would be classified by society as normal (generic) Americans) and presented them with a certain ad, take the Victoria's Secret's Bra ad that I used earlier.

They would all have different takes on it (just like how my friends and I have different takes on it). Despite how 'normal', how regular a person may seem, they're still different, they're still individuals. Just so people from different cultures also have different takes on things from the media. Being as someone from a different culture would not be accustomed to the same things that someone from that culture would already be accustomed it makes sense that they'd have a different reaction to the piece of media.

I don't know about you but I love examples, so here's one. We (my family and I) have Dish Network and a DVR system. As a result, we record a lot of (truth be told we record most of) the shows that we watch. Now my parents record the shows they watch, my brothers record the shows they watch, and I record the shows that I watch. Now my mom would often go through shows that my brothers and I record, usually when she's bored, and check out what we watch. Often times she enjoys shows that I watch and would watch them herself. My parents are multilingual and speak many languages including English. However, English isn't their primary language, it's isn't their second or third language either. As a result they often have to focus and think about what they're hearing and lets be honest, if you have to translate your favorite soap (opera), it probably won't be your favorite for long. So most of the shows they watch are Bengali or Indian shows.

My parents were born and raised in Bangladesh unlike my brothers I. My baby brother (7) was born here but my other brother (15) and I (18) we not born in America but we grew up here. As a result, my brothers and I have views on things that go against what my parents think and believe. Bangladesh is predominantly Muslim, and my parents were raised in strict Islamic households. My brothers and I? Not so much. We grew up in a 'liberal' Islamic household that put more emphasis on the lessons that one is expected to take from Islam than the actual teachings themselves.

So back to the television shows. So my mom would often watch shows that I watch (she has a somewhat better grasp at the English language, I mean after being here for about 17 years she's picked up on a few things). Now during one of the shows, there was a commercial that was directed at people who know a gay person. The commercial talked about how it's okay to be gay, some of the generic 'symptoms' were, and that you should be supportive of that person. Just like how many people grew up during the movement for women's rights, I'd argue that we're growing up in the movement for gay equality. Compared to earlier generations, my generation seems to be more at ease with homosexuality. Often times we'll talk about how it's unfair for homosexuals to be unable to do the same things as heterosexuals. That they're shunned. That they're ostracized. For what? Because the (gay) guys like dick and the (lesbians) girls like pussy? So? If it's not something we're interested in or doing why do we care? Take prayers from various religions as an example. If I stopped somewhere (on the streets, in a class, etc) to pray people would talk but no one would really say anything to me about it? Why because what I’m doing isn't bothering them. What I'm doing is my belief. No one will try to keep me from pray. So why do we try to stop homosexuals from being homosexual? Why do we try to oppose their beliefs?

When my mom saw the commercial she was shocked, for many reasons. First of all, she wasn't used to seeing commercials, seeing ads like that. In Bangladesh, homosexuality is taboo. I'd argue that it's (shunned) even more so there than here (in America). Here we will talk about it and take actions either for or against it but in Bangladesh and other Islamic influenced countries homosexuality is something that for the most part isn't even hinted at. But when it is, it's opposed. Islamic countries I would say are suppressed more so than other countries because there is no clear division of religion and state. Homosexuality is considered a disease, a wrongness, and as a result it's considered to be a vile, shameful thing.

My brother (15) and my cousin (16) were born 2 months apart from each other. Initially, when my cousin moved to Buffalo, he didn't know anyone here and seeing as how he lives like 5 blocks away, he'd always be over at my house. He and my brother would be just about everything together (my cousin moved here when he was like 13). They'd go to the movies, play games, eat, listen to music, etc. Thing is they were just best friends. They are not attracted to each other, and neither of them are gay. However, after seeing that commercial, my mom put 2 and 2 together and came to the conclusion (well it's more of an assumption) that my brother and cousin were gay. I came home one day from school and heard her lecturing my brother and cousin (who were both sitting on opposite side of the room on different couches). Suffice to say that was one of the most awkward talks/situation I've been in. My mom's all about openly talking about matters once they get bad enough (usually she decides when that is) so that they don't get any worse. During the lecture/rant she told them that if they were gay they can go be gay elsewhere, that she told my cousin's mom and she doesn't want a gay in her house either. That both my mom and aunt would kick them out of the house, and disown them if they were. Pretty extreme things for a 13/14 year old to hear. Scratch that, that's pretty extreme for anyone. My mom was breaking down. I felt the need to butt in and did so. I explained to her (with the help of my brother and cousin) that weren't gay although it took a while. For a while after the conversation, she kept checking up on my brother and cousin until she came to the conclusion that she came to the wrong conclusion that day. 

The catalyst for all that was the commercial that she saw. Now I didn't realize what had sparked all that pent up frustration from her until later that day when I was watching my shows. When I saw the commercial, I was like, I'm glad there's an ad telling friends and family of homosexuals that it's okay for people to be gay and they aren't any different from the person they were. Then I had a little epiphany and asked my mom if it was that commercial that sparked her outburst. She replied that it was, and we talked about it. Thing is, (according to my mom) homosexuality is something that is considered only taboo but also something to be feared and ashamed of. I told her that although it's something that considered taboo in many (most) places in the world (including America and Bangladesh) it really isn't that big of a deal. I don't think it's something to be feared or ashamed of. If someone's gay who are we to tell that person that they're wrong? What if they told us that we're wrong? I mean if you think about it homosexuality would not exist without heterosexuality. Normal would not exist without abnormal. It's like yin-yang; one cannot exist without the other. (Needless to say, at that point my mom thought I was gay for a little while).

From her outburst I was able to realize that homosexuality is something that's taboo (like) in most places in the world. That the lack of homosexuality in the media is something that is (partially) responsible for the opinions of people in relationship to homosexuals. If there were more gay related media in the world then maybe, just maybe homosexuality would not be met with the animosity it is met with now. We fear the unknown and we don't know much about homosexuality. The lack of homosexual-related items in the media is a representative of the extent to which homosexuality is understood and accepted. There isn't much in the media about it and so it is not something that's acknowledged or accepted. It's human nature to fear what we don't know or understand. If we don't acknowledge homosexuality, we'll never learn or understand it. The first step to conquering a fear is to acknowledge it and then make an effort to understand it. Our refusal, our hesitance to act will do nothing but hurt us in the end. 

The media has varying affects on its audience. Different people have different perspectives, just like how my mom and I took the pro gay commercial different ways. I saw the commercial in a positive manner. My mom said that she felt as thought the commercial sounded condescending and that it was making a jab at people who knew a gay (a potential) gay person. Which if you think about it is weird because the ad seems to be contradicting itself. Capitalism allows ads to contradict itself. That not only confuses people but also makes it difficult for members of the audience to be critical viewers of the media. Ads in relationship to homosexuality are met with varying degrees of responses (some positive others not so much), and the things that we experienced growing up influence our responses. It's important to note that we're constantly growing (older if nothing else) and as a result we are constantly being influenced (by the media, by society, etc). 

What Influences Us?

            So, I realize that I haven't posted anything in a little over a week and I'd like to apologize for my inactivity. I had a lot going on this week and so I wasn't able to post as diligently as I'd have liked. Now that that's done with, onward to the actual blog post.

I was born in Bangladesh on September 19, 1994. In 1997, a few months after my baby brother was born, my family and I moved to America. I was influenced by a plethora of cultures growing up. Due to the history, culture, and location of Bangladesh as well as my ancestry, I was influenced by Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, a few Middle Eastern countries such as Iran. I was also influence by the culture in America that I was immersed in growing up.

I essentially grew up in 2 worlds; one world would be my life outside of home in 'America' and the other world would be that inside the house or when I was out with others that originated from the same region as me (Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Iran, etc). As a result of growing up in two worlds, the way I think and act was influenced by both worlds.

Despite how much I was influenced by both worlds, I was relatively naive in that I thought that the media was something that didn't affect me. Please don't make the assumption that I fancy myself a hipster, because I don't. Although, there's nothing wrong with them. A few of my friends would probably smack me upside the head for that comment, it's just that I thought that if I didn't focus on it, the media wouldn't affect me. Of course, at the time, I was happily oblivious to the fact that the media is everywhere, sort of like with Big Brother in 1984, and that the media influences us regardless of whether or not we want to be influenced. For example, let's take an example presented by Jean Kilbourne in Can't Buy My Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel. In the 1999 Superbowl, there was a short clip presented by Victoria's Secret, advertising goods online. After which, hundreds of thousands of people went online to the Victoria's Secret's website during the Superbowl, the goddamn SUPERBOWL. People may say that they aren't affected by the media, but that's incorrect. They may think that they aren't affected, but they are. If people weren't affected by the media, why would different companies and organizations pay obscure amounts of money to have their ads aired during the Superbowl? They wouldn't. They know that a large audience watches the Superbowl and, as a result, they expect an increase in sales or at least an increase interest in regards to a particular product. Now, I was a little kid when the 1999 Superbowl was on and don't remember watching it. However, after reading the comment about the Victoria's Secret Commercial that took place during the Superbowl, I was shocked to hear that people actually left the game to go check out whatever it was that the ad was advertising and wanted to see what it was all about. The article I read, is a media outlet. It influenced me without me realizing that I was being influenced by it. It wasn't until after I saw that ad did I realize that the article sparked my desire to see what the ad was all about and in the end I "fell victim" to the clutches of the media.

Victoria Secrets 1999 Superbowl Commercial 

So, the thing to take from all that is that we are influence by just about everything around us from the day we are born. We are constantly being influenced by something regardless of whether it be the media or the weather or something totally different. It is incorrect and ultimately stupid/ignorant to assume that you aren't affected by the media or outer outlets. Whether you are being influenced consciously or unconsciously, you are being influenced by everything around you. Not only are we influenced by everything around us, the government/society takes advantage of our susceptibility and monitors/influences much of what we see through the media. What we see gives us a perspective of what we see to be acceptable, what we deem, well what society deems to be normal and we follow that. We reach for the illusion of normalcy that's projected onto us knowing that, for the most part, we will never attain it. It's like the 'American dream' that's exhibited in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Fitzgerald saw that the "American dream" was originally about discovery, individualism, and the pursuit of happiness. In The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald writes about how easy money and relaxed social values have corrupted this dream. Just as Americans have given America meaning through their dreams for their own lives, Gatsby instills Daisy with a kind of idealized perfection that she neither deserves nor possesses. If you think about it, Gatsby is society, and we, the people are Daisy. We are given this idealized perfected image that we are told to try to achieve, but it's something that most people search for but never find. It's like a treasure map; more often times then not, they turn our to be pointless searches. In the novel, Gatsby’s dream is ruined by its objects, just as the "American dream" is ruined by the unworthiness of its objects (money and pleasure). Just so, we are given this image of what is normal and told to pursue that image of normalcy. Simple enough concept/order, the discourse arises with the definition of normalcy. What is normal? What I consider to be normal is influenced by everything that influenced me and what you may think to be normal is influenced by everything that you were influenced by. Ultimately we could have similar definitions or entirely different definitions based on our experiences.